Jan
30
Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
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David Letterman’s Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a
Cubicle
10. Being told to “think outside the box” when
you’re in a freakin’ box all day long.
Jan
27
To Eat Or not to Eat?
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I generalize that every woman likes to have her pussy eaten,
but I’m finding that it’s not as true as I thought. When my
girlfriend and I first started dating she loved it when
I would eat her until she came. But as time went by she stopped
liking it as much. I think maybe she never did but did it for
my sake? I’ve asked her why she doesn’t enjoy it and thought
maybe I just don’t do it right. But she says that it does feel
good but that it relaxes her, rather than gives her an orgasm.
I guess I’m just confused since she use to love it and still
sometimes begs for me to do it. And yet the majority of the
time she just can’t get off on it???? I guess my question
is do women really enjoy it as much as they claim to? And if
there is any tricks that I could do to maybe make it more enjoyable
to her. I admitted to her that maybe it’s the fact that I don’t
know where the clit is exactly. Sure I know the area of it
and have a clue but it’s not like I had a coach watching my
moves and telling me what to do. I really love to eat her out
and pleasing the woman is what I enjoy best about sex. Please
give me any advice.
Jan
23
To Be or Not to be
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My girlfriend is a newly branded New Yorker. We have been
together doing the long distance thing for a year and a half
now, but for the first time we are living in the same city.
I met her back in high school when she was a freshman and I
was a senior. Now four years later we are back to the basics
once again, I am a senior and her a freshman.
Jan
19
Tips for meeting online, esp. for the ladies
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When you do decide to meet someone whose company you enjoy
online, meet in a public place and bring your friends. Your
online buddy will understand and accomodate your wishes
if they are honest about their intentions towards you.
If during the date, you decide to go somewhere else, use
your own car.
Jan
15
Tighten your vagina for better sex
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There is an excercize for tightening your vaginal muscles.
Here’s how it’s done. Do know how you hold it when
you got to go “p” real bad?? Use this same holditechnique. Hold it for 10 seconds, really squeezing, letng
Read more
Jan
12
Thoughts For The Day
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13. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
12. Life is sexually transmitted.
Jan
9
Those Catholic Girls
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A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they
all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly
gates pass St. Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, “Gloria, have you ever
had contact with a penis?” She giggles and shyly replies,
“Well I once touched with the tip of my finger…”
St. Peter says, “Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the
holy water and pass through the gates.”
Jan
5
THINGS WOMEN SAY WHEN STRESSED AT WORK
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1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
Read more
Jan
1
Things to remember
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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say
will be
misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular
it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into
jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect
it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some
people have.
27. If everything’s coming your way, you may be in the
wrong lane and
going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence
that you tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don’t get until just
after you need it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full
view.
36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required
on it.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to
the softness of
the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the ability to
reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal
from many is
research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise
above your
principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll
have to catch up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it’ll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
53. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t
for you.

