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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it’s cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don’t we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It’s more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4″ bigger.
13. It’s ok, we’ll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn’t know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won’t take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it’s hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I’ll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
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Is it better to be truthful right from the start, and risk never meeting anymore at all? Or to hold back the nasty little details that everyone on this planet has, just to be able to first reel someone into your web, and hope they will still be accepting of you after all is disclosed?
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Traveling Salesman - Chapter 2

Arriving at the large New England college moments before
a 10:00 meeting was standard procedure. Never set an appointment
before 10:00 a.m., and never be more than 5 minutes early.
The stiffness from a 6 hour drive the night before and the
lack of a full 8 1/2 hours sleep were the only things out of
the ordinary. I liked the rare times that my wife was able
to accompany me, but she preferred to drive whenever possible,
and today that tactic, as it usually did, brought us into
town way too late to get a full night’s sleep, not to
mention a little bed-time action. After having hinted
around about it during the entire trip, she had fallen asleep
minutes after checking into the motel.

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considering for beer and alcohol bottles.

13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.

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I am a soon to be graduate of a local medical college and have
been doing clinical work for a while at this time. I live
in a small dormitory but am lucky enough to have a single
which means no distracting roomates! I recently met a very
beautiful but shy and quiet nursing student who lives in
my building. We met by chance in the cafeteria during a rare
day when I could eat a regular meal without being in the hospital.
Her name is Holly and she is about 5′8″, long dark
hair and very full figured. She is not fat but is solid. I
think she must be slightly intimidated by her size as she
was very shy. We started talking and before we realized,
the cafeteria was closing as we had been talking for several
hours. I found out she didn’t have a boyfriend and also
I could guess she was a virgin. I was very attracted to her
and I could tell she was to me. After we left the cafeteria,
I asked her to come back to my room but she refused and said
she had to go back to her room to study. We went up the elevator
together and when she got off, I gently leaned over and kissed
her on the cheek. She smiled and turned completely around,
I then kissed her on her lips. She started to wrap her arms
around me as we continued to kiss more deeply. As this progressed,
I felt her open her mouth and accept my tongue.
The elevator started to move and we were both taken by surprise.
I held her until we reached my floor and without saying a
word, we held hands and walked to my room. After we both entered,
I locked the door and embraced her again. We continued to
kiss for several minutes with my hands slowly starting
to wander down her body. She was wearing a sweat shirt and
sweat pants and I started to rub her. She suddenly announced
that she needed to go to the bathroom and when she left, I
quickly cleaned up my small double bed by throwing everything
on the floor. When Holly returned, she smiled sweetly and
said that she was having some pain in her mid back and could
I check her. I escorted her to my bed and had her sit down.
As I ran my hand over her sweat shirt I realized she had removed
her bra. I told her that I would need to raise her shirt to
examine her back. She said OK and she raised the back of her
shirt. I ran my hand over her silky smooth and warm flesh.
She started to breath more heavily and I told her that the
pain may be coming from around the front. Holly said to go
ahead and make sure. As I wrapped my hands around her back,
I cupped and carressed her breasts. They were very soft
and her nipples were erect. I was massaging her beauties
when I started kissing the back of her neck. I kissed my way
around to her ear and whispered I needed to conduct a full
physical examination to her. She just sighed and I lifted
her shirt off. I then cupped her breasts and turned her to
face me. We started kissing heavily and I was carressing
her breasts. I instructed her to lay back and I pulled down
her pants. I was rewarded with a view of a full black bush
that was becoming very moist and fragrant. I leaned down
and began to kiss and lick her pussy. She smelled virgin
sweet and within minutes, her body tensed and she had her
first orgasm. I quickly jumped up and stripped off my clothes.
She grasped my cock and begged me to end her virginity and
make her a woman. I was so excited and turned on that I was
afraid I would cum before I entered her. I was so in love with
her that I opted not to use protection or pull out. I wanted
to blast my semen inside her to own and possess her. Very
slowly I entered her and when I felt her resistance, I penetrated
her. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and we mated
until we both got off again. That night we made love many
times and I found out that because I didn’t use protection,
our first child will be arriving in about 6 months. We are
still in love and I plan on having many more children with
my love goddess.

Just before school was getting out I decided to mow lawns
to make extra cash over the summer. I started making the
rounds in the neighborhood but I wasn?t finding many prospects.
I talked to a neighbor who had a couple of rental properties
and he told me a few blocks over a young lady had just moved
into the neighborhood. He had to go over there to do some
work on the house and decided to take me with him. ?I could
use a hand. The last bunch of renters managed to crack the
toilet? he grumbled. I got in his truck and we went to her
house. When we got there we took the new toilet out of the
truck and carried it to the door. It turned out she wasn?t
home so we let ourselves in. There were still boxes all over
the house. It looked like she unloaded her stuff took it
to the proper room. The toilet was in the master bath. When
I walked into the bathroom I could smell her perfume in the
air. I guess we missed her by a minute or so. I wondered if
she looked as good as her perfume smelled. I stopped dead
in my tracks and inhaled as much of the perfume as I could.
?Too bad she wasn?t here?, my neighbor said. ?She is a beautiful
young lady. She has brown hair, blue eyes and a great pair
of tits.?

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The star was dark and infinitely small. Compressed and
compacted, it began to throb. It’s swelling, an erect
light, began to illuminate the void. What once was nothing
became visible. The void’s blackness began to emit
violets, both ultra and visible, reds, both infra and scarlet.
The undifferentiated mass suddenly burst forth with energy.
The energies of molecules that were once fused became a
molecule of me and a molecule of you.
The molecule of me swirled and twisted into a planetary
form. The planet raged furiously, fiery and alone. Cracks
in my surface spewed forth its core. Mountains and valleys
surged with great violence. As an empty shell, I circled
the universe.
Then a molecule of you filled the planetary valleys with
nourishing seas. The seas grew life and the planet grew
calm.
The molecule of you crawled from the sea to seek life on land.
You rode the slick back of an amphibious creature. The land
and sea, the molecule of you was comfortable on both.
The molecule of me tried to grow from the earth to escape
this new found calm. I split and I branched and clawed for
the sky, but my leaves fell once a year back to the molecule
of you.
The molecule of me and molecule of you intermingled again
only to be split into two. A molecule of me going into a man
and a molecule of you, scattered in the wind.
Hurricanes and torrents sent you worldwide and back, but
I saw you inside a woman one day. Only to be gone, walking
right by.
Then in a dream the molecule of you entered me and found a
place in fantasy. Now I think, “Were you ever real?”
I awaken each morning and look for you there, but your image
fades and the day is spent searching again.

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