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The summer of 1992, oh how it changed my life. I was 23 years
old and working
as a chef in a local upscale restaurant. This particular
week in July was
extremely hot and humid. The temperature rose to well over
130 degrees in the
kitchen and we where downing iced-water like crazy on that
Friday night. It
was early on in the evening and the dinner rush was just beginning.
It was
going to be a long hot night. Nobody in their right mind would
want to cook in
weather like this. Friday’s were always rough. The
only thing that we looked
forward to was the Lotto drawing. Every Friday night Susanne,
the dining room
manager, would get the numbers from the TV in the bar. After
writing them
down, she would post them on the bulletin board in the kitchen
saying, “Read
‘em and weep fellas”. This night we were all looking
for our pot of gold. The
entire state had been going nuts over this jackpot, $87
million!!!!!!! It had been
building for weeks. Let me get to the point. I was the sole
winner of that pot. I
had always told my coworkers, if I had won, I wouldn’t
even say good-bye.
Well, I did say good-bye. Don’t get me wrong, it was
not that I didn’t like the
people I worked with, they were coworkers, not friends.
Believe me when I tell
you, the restaurant business is a dirty business. All of
a sudden, I wanted
nothing to do with it anymore. “Bobby, ” I said,
turning to the head chef, ” I
know that this leaves you hanging, but, I gotta go.”
And, I left. I had no idea
what to do next. I was lucky in the fact that, I have a great
family and I knew
who my friends were. Anyone crawling out of the wood work
would be dealt
with.

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So often people talk in terms of not wanting to hurt the other
party in a break-up situation. That’s a valid consideration
and often times reflects that even while the magic has gone,
there are lingering feelings and care about the other person.

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Feeling pretty low Ann my long term girlfriend had been offered a
really good job with a relative in Australia and understandably taken
it. So back to square one, shagless. In my job I have to go for
regular health checks, usual thing, blood pressure and stuff get told
to loose weight, stop drinking, be praised for not smoking, find a
better way to cope with the stress?..blah blah. Anyway this time the
medics are based in Bristol and as there are a lot of us due for a
check they hire a suite at the Swallow Royal Hotel. Well I decide to
do some shopping and go to Bristol early, but the rain is so heavy
that I go to the hotel early, three hours early. I found a corner of a
quiet lounge got a coffee and a news paper and started to fill the
time. I don’t know when she entered the room but a woman’s voice asks
me for the time, well I consider this strange as there are two clocks
in the room. Getting up I walked over to a handsome woman of say
thirty five maybe forty, well dressed and looking unsettled, stressed.
She asks if I am with the medical party, I don’t answer just ask her
what the problem is, she describes the usual work related pressure
producers. I suggested she looked tense she says her shoulder and back
muscles had gone into spasm. I suggested a massage she said “what a
good idea” took me by the hand and led me to the lift. When we got to
the room she laid towels on the bed and took off her clothes, what a
body she may be getting on but nothing had given way to time. I went
to the bathroom took my clothes off and put the hotel robe on. I had
given way to time! Taking some body lotion from the bathroom I went
back into the bedroom pushed her hair up above her shoulders and
started to run my fingertips lightly over the surface of her skin to
start with barely disturbing the fine hairs of her neck and shoulders
then increasing the pressure and finding the knotted muscles working
them until they began to relax. This was hard work but slowly she
began to relax I found that I was enjoying myself she had said “this
is wonderful” enough times to convince me she was enjoying it as well.
When I began to feel no knots I started the fingertip brushing again
but this time over her lower back and down the crack between her
buttocks she responded by opening her legs and groaning a little. My
fingers now had access to a damp and highly responsive cunt. Finding
her clitoris I started a gentle circling motion keeping this up for
some time. She (I still did not know her name at this point) reached
under the robe to find my hard on she then turned over and sat up to
kiss me hard and urgently. I then ran my lips down her body stopping
only briefly at each hard and rather insistent nipple, until I found
her clit again by now she was moaning and thrusting her hips at my
face taking her clit between my lips and sucking like it was a nipple
then flicking it with my tongue brought her to climax in short order.
I then entered her and with just the tip at first and then getting
deeper kept her at near orgasm until I could bear it no longer and
exploded. We then subsided and talked she was also called Anne she had
not seen a naked man for two years and being sales director for her
company she decided that regular visits to the Bristol region would be
in order.

Theres a song that states, If you cant be with the one
you love, love the one youre with.
It makes me wonder how many people in the world have followed
this mans advice and settled for what they had available,
instead of what they ache for. In my personal experience
(which is, I admit, limited), I have felt true love and all
the beauty and purity surrounding the knowledge that the
man I love and I would always be together, no matter what.
And I have also felt the disappointment and confusion I
was left with when he broke my heart over and over again.
While I would never choose to go through the pain of yet another
failed relationship, I cant say that its not worth the
chance to try again when the time is right. The feeling I
got while I was totally, completely in love was great enough
to risk having to feel the pain and heartache I felt when
love left me.
I know I will never again love so innocently or so completely;
but I know that I can love another just as much as I loved him
because while I lost the innocence, I gained the knowledge
of what not to do.
So, decide for yourself, but I will never choose to just
love the one Im with when I can be with the one I love.

Theres a song that states, If you cant be with the one
you love, love the one youre with.
It makes me wonder how many people in the world have followed
this mans advice and settled for what they had available,
instead of what they ache for. In my personal experience
(which is, I admit, limited), I have felt true love and all
the beauty and purity surrounding the knowledge that the
man I love and I would always be together, no matter what.
And I have also felt the disappointment and confusion I
was left with when he broke my heart over and over again.
While I would never choose to go through the pain of yet another
failed relationship, I cant say that its not worth the
chance to try again when the time is right. The feeling I
got while I was totally, completely in love was great enough
to risk having to feel the pain and heartache I felt when
love left me.
I know I will never again love so innocently or so completely;
but I know that I can love another just as much as I loved him
because while I lost the innocence, I gained the knowledge
of what not to do.
So, decide for yourself, but I will never choose to just
love the one Im with when I can be with the one I love.

Well Ive been single for about 3 and a half years but here
is why ive been so.
When i was with my last girlfriend we were going out for about
3 months. One day i got off work earlier than what i told her
to suprise her at her appartment to show her some affection.
When i went home to shower and change i heard some disturbing
noises from my own bedroom. Needless to say i knew what they
were . . but what i first thought . . dosnt really need to be
said. When i opened my bedroom door, i catch my best friend
and my girlfriend have sex on MY OWN BED. The first responce
out of their mouth is its not what it looks like .. . YEA RIGHT!.
First i beat my best friends ass and throw him on the street
with out any clothes or personal belongings. And my girlfriend
i do the same . . exept i dont touch her because i cannot hurt
a girl. So what i do is throw her out without her car keys or
anything elts to be butt naked in the street. I had full rights
because this was at night and neither one had permission
to be Trespassing in my house.

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Saturday, November 27, 2004

Every time the so-called Christian Right has tried to turn
this country into a theocracy, those pesky federal courts
have stymied things.

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TRUISMS

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even
get into my own pants.

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On Oct.1999 I met the Love of my life. She was a single widowed
lady that lost her husband to cancer the Feb the same year.
She lost her Father-in-law 2 months later and her Father
2 weeks after I met her. She was 38 and had 2 teenage boys.
I had been divorsed for the second time 2 years. When we met
we were both looking for Love. At age 47, I was falling in
Love for the very first time. We talked several times about
her recent loss and she assured me she was ready for a serious
relationship. After 6 months of the most Passionate and
Giving relationship, I asked her to marry me on April 26, 2000.
We planned our wedding in Gatlinburg, Tn. for Oct 14th.
One year from the date we met.
In June of 2000 she took the engagement ring off. Her only
reason was she had been thinking and decided she needed
more time. For the next 8 months I would see her from time
to time and our time together was as wonderful as before.
Each time she would leave and say she had to go lock herself
up again and not allow herself to Love or be Loved by another.
In order to move on I had to move to another city and start
over. I finally realized I could never feel that way again
about another Lady. I recently married a wonderful Lady, very
loving and giving, and we are happy. But not a day goes by
that I do not think of the Love of my Life and long for her touch, to
gaze into her eyes to her soul, and the warmth of her body
next to mine after we have made very passionate love.
When I told her “I Love You” I know now how deep and true my
love was/IS for her.

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