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Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.

At the gates, Saint Peter tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention of the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.”
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So there we all were, my hubby a girlfriend and me, sitting
around the pc the other day. Our girlfriend is fairly new
to the internet, and we were telling her about internet
phone and how most of the time when you go on there are a ton
of guys waiting to show you what they have. So she wanted
to check it out, but she said she was a little shy and could
I help her. So I set it up saying there were two girls ready
to talk. Well soon we had about twenty calls waiting! So
we picked one and sure enough there was our mystery guest
standing proud! We started to talk to him and tell him how
we would like to watch him play for us, and he readily agreed.
I could tell that watching this guy get off was turning everyone
on, so I suggested that me and my girlfriend trade places
so she could get some relief. I took over talking to our guest,
while hubby helped our girlfriend out by sliding his hand
up into her shorts and slipping a finger into her. He started
out slow at first but she was already wet and she was getting
wetter by the second. He undid her shorts with his other
hand and slid his hand down and found her swollen clit and
proceeded to caress it, gaining momentum until he reached
a nice speed. Well all this action was so hot that I didn’t
even realize our guest had already cum and gone! Oh well,
there were tons more waiting to show us everything. So I
answered the next call and sure enough there was another
guy in all his glory, but this one was gorgeous! I couldn’t
stand it anymore, I had to get in on this! So I slipped a hand
down my own shorts found my swollen clit and quickly worked
myself up. By now hubby could tell our girlfriend was about
to explode so he slipped off her shorts as well as his own,
slid all of his nine inches deep into her, and quickly got
into a rythm of his own. Our guest could hear hubby and our
girlfriend in the background and I was being a bit noisy
myself, and this was getting him very turned on. We were
being so noisy, that I thought we might even wake up the neighbors!
But instead of telling everyone to be a little quieter I
just got noisier because I was about to cum myself. Knowing
this brought hubby closer too, which in turn brought our
friend closer which in turn…well you get the idea, it
was like a perpetual turn on machine! I came first, then
our friend and then hubby and we all turned just in time to
see our mystery guest explode all over his tummy! Things
didn’t end there, we were up until at almost 4 am cumming
again and again. We also decided that we are going to get
our own camera so we can put on a sexy show of our own!

Dan Rather of CBS news was seated next to little Tommy on
the plane when Rather turned to the boy and said, “Let’s
talk, I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passengers.

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I’ve been dieing to get to a computer to tell you all
about the wildest thing that has ever happened to me.

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We are in our early 40’s… I work full time days, and he works
days and takes on more jobs at night (about twice a week)
but usually has weekends off… He’s had a back injury about
15 years ago… anyways, we’ve both been married (to other
people) twice, so this is the third time for us both… I’ve
been a full time mother since I was 19 years old, most of the
20 years of children (now grown & on their own mostly) I was
a single parent… Now, I finally find someone who connects
with me and he’s impotent! AHHHH! My sexuality is just ‘waking
up’ now without the threat of children & being a role model,
etc…. What do I do? I want to enjoy grownups, not just sexually,
but intellectually, etc… I’ve spent most of my life raising,
providing for children and now I want to play a little! He
has a daughter in kindergarten and needs someone to be with
her when he works his nights… he has the days worked out….
we can never go out just by ourselves without the kid, although
I do love her dearly, enough is enough! He’s a good man…
he gets home before I do during the week & will most often
have dinner cooked & I usually take care of the kitchen mess
after…. we share the housework & home maintenance….
what to do? Please! I’m looking at swinging, but that won’t
be very good if he can’t share, too! I’m interested in a bi-relationship,
but with all the chidcare needs, my needs, again, get put
on hold, & for how long this time?

An Irish man was sitting alone at a bar at 3:00 in the afternoon
when a man came from the bathroom and sat right beside him.
“Where you from?”, the Irish man said. “Ireland, “
the other man said. “Holy shit! Me too! Let’s
drink to Ireland, ” said the Irish man. After a minute
or two, he pipes up again, “Where in Ireland?”
“Dublin, ” the other man responded. “Holy
shit, bless my lucky stars, I’m from Dublin too, “
the Irish man said, “let’s drink to Dublin.”
So, the two take another big drink. “What school did
you attend?”, the Irish man asked. “St. Catherine’s, “
said the other guy. “I don’t fucking believe
it, me too!”, said the Irish guy, “let’s
drink to St. Catherine’s.” The two downed another
pint. “Now, what year did you graduate from St. Catherine’s?”,
asked the Irish man. “1971, ” answered the
other guy. “I can’t believe this is happening,
I graduated in 1971!”, the Irish man exclaimed. About
this time another man at the end of the bar is listening to
the whole conversation and he turns to the bartender, “What’s
going on down there?” “Oh nothing, “
the bartender said, “the O’Malley twins are
drunk again.”

After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded
into the limo (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver
> notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
“Excuse me, Your Eminence, ” says the driver,
“would you please take your seat so we can leave? “Well,
to tell you the truth, ” says the Pope, “they
never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like
to drive today. ” “I’m sorry but I cannot
let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something
should happen?, ” protests the driver, wishing he’d
never gone to work that morning.
“There might be something extra in it for you, “
says the Pope. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back
as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly
regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,
the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to
105 mph. “Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!”
pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal
to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, my God, I’m
gonna lose my license, ” moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle,
and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,
” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio
and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going
a hundred and five. “So bust him, ” said the Chief.
“I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really
important, ” said the cop.
Then the Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!”
“No, I mean really important, ” said the cop.
The Chief then asked, “Who ya got there, the Mayor?”
Cop: “Bigger.” Chief: “Governor?”
Cop: “Bigger.” “Well, ” said the
Chief, “who is it?” Cop: “I think it’s
God!” Chief: “What makes you think it’s
God?” Cop: “He’s got the Pope for a limo
driver!”

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry
and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1, 000 miles to the gallon.”

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